Following in the footsteps of another media empire, the Open Container Media Empire has teamed up with itself to try and answer that question. The Open Container Media Empire is the parent of two cats — one of us is wearing a cone and doped up on drugs, but I’ll let you figure out which cat/blogger — and one perfect son.
“We believe there is a great opportunity to debate and discuss the important political issues and to include all media outlets, bloggers big and small and raving lunatics on TRAX in our posts. But we believe that all debates can be done in a civil, dignified and respectful manner,” says a statement on, well, okay. This is the statement, but whatever.
The OCME statement continued: “We also believe that the discourse can be tolerant of divergent beliefs, ideologies, driving abilities, sexual orientation, skin colors, drink choices and opinions about the Dodgers.”
The ratings of the various media organizations were done on a -3 to +3 scale, because at OCME we decided that was the best way to grade was to give a rating that confused people even more than figure skating scores. I mean, the 10-scale is passe and a thumbs up/thumbs down is only done by media outlets that actually pay critics, instead of just recruiting, say, free labor, students or pets to do the heavy lifting.
As for the ratings for major media outlets, Fox 13 was given a 2.82, primarily because it’s not the lunatic-bin of Glenn Beck clones that everyone expects anything “Fox” to become. The Salt Lake Tribune received a 2.45, thanks to their hiring of many of OCME’s friends — although, to be fair, the ratings were finished before their bizarre endorsement of Gov. Gary Herbert. KUTV Channel 2 was given a 2.34 because, based on Rod Decker’s questions at the Herbert Is A Saint press conference, they are very tolerant of insanity. KTVX 4 received a 1.66 because OCME likes Chris Vanocur and doesn’t know anybody else.
Not everyone scored positive, however. The Deseret Digitial Mormon Media Empire received a cumulative -69.65 because …. THEY HATE GAY PEOPLE. They hate every lettered-person in the LGTBQQ etc. etc. community. They see them as addicts, as “sinners” waiting to be fixed. They’ve given up on helping prostitutes, drug addicts or sexual abuse victims. They want to “help” gay people by curing them of … what? Love? Natural physical attractions?
“We listen to them [media outlets] and then we rate whether they have a positive or negative tone,” said OCME President Josh Loftin. “[We look for] whether it [media organizations] furthers civility in politics, and in life, or hinders it, and then whether our impression of the media organization is positive or negative after the reading them.”
Josh Loftin II, vice president of sales for OCME [who, frankly, should be fired] is spearheading the project for OCME. He said the OCME hopes to elevate political and social discussions.
“If this process is successful, we won’t steer the outcome of a news story, but we might have some influence on an editor to actually use words like ‘gay’ without saying it [the word] like it [the word] is covered in fecal matter [shit],” Loftin II said.
Regarding the DDMME’s lack of civility, Loftin II pointed to coverage of the recent “bigotry-laced, ignorant and basically asinine” speech by the next LDS prophet, Boyd K. [Korn] Packer during the recent LDS General Conference. While other media outlets covered it as a news story — because, after all, it was deeply offensive to every gay person, their friends, their family and, hell, even many straight Mormons — the DDMME somehow covered the speech without mentioning that anyone was offended or that the speech was even about GAY PEOPLE. No, it’s people “struggling” with “same-sex attraction,” which Mr. K. [Korn] Packer equates with “crack smoker.”
When asked for a comment, DDMME Overlord Mark Willes kicked Loftin and Loftin II in the nuts [balls], then tried to kick the cats in their respective reproductive organs [not balls]. Both are fixed [spayed or neutered, but OCME gets confused about which is which] so no damage was inflicted.
Okay, no comment was actually requested, but everyone can agree there is a good chance of that response [Willes kicking Loftin & Co. in the nuts [balls]] happening, right?
So, starting after this post, let it be noted that OCME will enforce its new civility policy by refusing to link to any media outlet it deems as “uncivil.” For now, that simply means no links or mentions of any story published in the Deseret News, on KSL TV or blathered about on KSL Radio. And yes, this is a serious ban: If you want anymore discussion of any about these outlets or the stories they publish, turn elsewhere. Because OCME is done [meaning, until the next late-night rant].